i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
