ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
