my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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