Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
