Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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