dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
