I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
