I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
