i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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