In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Randomize
