he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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