Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
