She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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