I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
