There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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