What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i think i have two assholes
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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