just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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