He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
