yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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