Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
