So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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