Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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