what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
