I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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