i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Shame - the story of my life.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
