they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
