used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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