Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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