Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
that's an acceptable place to lick
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
