tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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