There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
