haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
