She announced her abortion via fbk
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
