You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
