Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
