Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
