I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think I died a long time ago.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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