I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Randomize
