garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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