By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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