So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
