this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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