and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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