Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize