shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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