I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
