two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
