Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
