he thought i was a dude.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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