Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My breasts were aching with rage.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
