I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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