what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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