if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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