I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
